Life goes on.

6-16-08

It no longer bothers me that most people don't keep in touch. In fact, I think about home less and less. It's only natural. I've been here for over a year and have an established life here. If I force myself to admit it, life at site isn't the greatest. I look at my actual village work as a volunteer and wonder if I'm fooling myself into believing how much I actually enjoy it here. It is usually when I am out of site living, or helping someone else on a project that is actually supported that I love it.
It takes a lot to admit that. I am still coming to terms with my community. I'm doing what I can, but there is only so much one can do in an unsupportive community. Had the development in the beginning been better this site would have gotten an English teacher – something they could have understood and utilized. The volunteer would also have been a Ukrainian speaker.
I miss my independence. Living with a host family is great for some things. They light the pechka so my room is warm, they provide emotional support and sometimes explain village mysteries. But I miss my space. I want to cook. I never want to eat a potato again unless it is of my own free will. I want to turn my music up and dance and I want to wash ALL of my dishes with dish soap. I never thought I would have to look forward to post-PC life for these things.
Despite my village-blues, I love my overseas life. I love walking around Odessa and just blending. I love meeting my friends at the café for a pivo and conversation. I love looking out of train windows as the country passes by (albeit slowly). Instead of looking forward to resuming my life in America-land, I'm looking for a way to avoid it. I've found that I'm at my best when I'm exposed to new experiences. Although I still have a year left, I'm not ready to end this adventure