loss of what to write. Since returning from vacation
in the Middle East I find that each day goes as
expected. Even the unexpected factors into this
expectedness because the unforeseen is part of
everyday life. I know that when crazy organization
lady calls to remind me about the meeting we have in
an hour the likelihood of her being an hour or two
late or forgetting entirely is probable. I know that
my bus into the city is more than likely going to take
longer than usual due to a breakdown or a lot of
stops. I know that I will be treated like a nobody
and that my waitress will look at me with disdain as I
try to order my coffee after waiting thirty minutes
for her to recognize my presence.
All of these events have the potential to annoy and
exasperate, but the thing is they don't anymore. I
expect them to happen. If the waitress recognized my
presence as I walked in and smiled while she handed me
a menu I would probably stare at her in shock. I find
myself commenting to others how inordinately nice
someone is if they say hello with a smile. This isn't
to say that all people aren't nice here, just that
they don't know me.
Everyday tasks are now just tasks. Buying train or
bus tickets, asking for directions, traveling or
shopping are just daily errands. They don't hold the
weight that they used to; though they still hold the
time. A to-do list can still take days to accomplish,
but then, that too is expected.
It is the truly unexpected that has the biggest
impact. These are the moments that, wherever one may
live or whatever one may be doing, they will still
have the power to change. It brings life down to the
core, the rawness, and shows you how fragile it all
is. It is in these moments that you are transformed –
a single spark that ignites the whole body. Those
little inconveniences step backstage and don't really
seem to matter anymore. I selfishly hold on to the
hope that life will go on as it did even though I know
that it is impossible. My heart overflows.
But through every misfortune is a light. Whether it
makes us more passionate about relationships or work
or shows us that every day counts. I have a chance
here to really make a difference in myself and others
and instead of saying 'no' I strive to say 'why not.'
"Most of us are toiling away at daily work that
doesn't seem as important to us as the ambitious
dreams we have for ourselves. We're convinced that
we're not living up to our potential, that there's a
better part of ourselves that just hasn't expressed
itself yet, until the day our lives are over and
what's left is that daily work – whatever it is
–whatever we gave it."
It is the truly unexpected that helps us refocus on
what is important. I've always been convinced that
there is a better me that hasn't expressed itself yet.
What am I waiting for?
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